They said love is beautiful, love is amazing, love is extraordinary. I had the chance to feel that but it was all too good to last. I experienced my first heartbreak.
I’ve been in love, once though, even though I’ve been in a couple of relationships. I fell in love with someone I never saw myself being in a relationship with. Yes it was amazing, Yes it was thrilling to be in love for the first time. It was like people said it would be. But they just left out the part about the heartaches, sadness and tears, anger and disappointment.
At first the calls came to a halt due to several excuses, followed by nonchalance towards my emotions. I felt like my heart was being ripped apart and despite all that, I still wanted to believe there was something left we could salvage from the relationship. But all I did was of no good.
We broke up, or no he broke up with me rather. According to him, he “lost the connection”and “fell out of love”. Funny enough I was till in love so there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I was so sad, depressed, distraught, but most of all my heart was broken. Having no one to turn to due to the pandemic. I was alexithymic for a while but I got over it thankfully. I felt like there was something wrong, that I wasn’t good enough or something.
**Alexithymia is a trait characterized by the inability to identify and describe emotions.
My first heartbreak made me start asking myself if I was ever going to find love again, if someone was going to ever want to be with me again. Would I be able to trust anyone? I thought everything was wrong with me.
But that was a lie because I AM GOOD ENOUGH, and that’s all there is to it. I’ve moved pass the self-doubt and I’m at a place where nothing else matters but my sobriety. I won’t give up on love because of one heartbreak (-ing situation). I will love again, and I will love deeply.
**Disclaimer: this is a guest post written by someone who wants to remain anonymous but wants people to learn from her story. No matter how much your heart was broken by someone, you will always find love again. It might just take you to start loving and caring more for yourself to get over it.
A question before you go, How do you get over a breakup?
Have you subscribed yet?